Simply put, the struggle is real. It isn’t a struggle of resources, or shortage of ideas, or even time. There’s time. The struggle is about getting – and keeping – confidence in yourself to sit down and write every day.
It’s probably the hardest thing to do. There are a million other things I’d also like to do. I have to still take the dog out even though it’s almost midnight. Poor Gandalf. I would also like to play 100 more paragon levels of Diablo 3 (see: Nerd). Or look into my newest Dungeons & Dragons character (see: Meganerd). Or keep reading Mary Dearborn’s latest Hemingway biography, that has been really good to be quite honest. I downloaded A Moveable Feast, too, so I would like to start that as well.
I’ve got comics that are still sitting in their little clear plastic sleeves, untouched, that I need to get to. Before the tape gets old and rips in half when I try to open it.
I bought a record that is literally collecting dust next to my turntable. Next to the table are the thank-you notes we were supposed to send out after the baby shower!
I’ve also got Hans’ book I want to finish because it’s outstanding. I’ve got a four month old son that just had his shots and is now sleeping next to me. There are dishes. And snail mail to sort through. And finances. And e-mails.
And here I am writing.
Struggling, really. Because what I want to be writing is my novel but what I’m actually doing is just writing about writing. In a way, working out my writing “muscles.” Hopefully they will be toned enough so that I can get back into my story.
I’ve made good progress on my latest. Written five or six chapters. 100-200 words a day,…but I need more. The story calls for more and the story is evolving as I write. It’s an amazing thing, really. But it doesn’t mean that I don’t struggle or that I’m not struggling right now.
This is basically affirmation, for all you writers out there that feel my pain, just know that you’re not alone. You doubt yourself, your ability, your time, your space. Hell you sometimes doubt the air you breath. But you’ve got it in you.
I think Nemo said just keep swimming. Well, the Nemo in me wants to tell you: just keep writing. It doesn’t matter what – poetry, song lyrics, movie quotes, whatever. Get your thoughts flowing and your writing motor going and the muse will wake up.
Look at that blank page. Close your eyes. Envision all of the words already there. Your awesome story, there. Your prose is good. You’re witty and smart. Your wordplay is legendary. Savor that.
Now open your eyes, and go.